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I was wondering...

Most of you (if not all ) have left their parents' home now... how old were you when it happened? Did you feel ready, or not, and you left because you had to? (studies away from your hometown, for instance). And if you're a parent yourself, have your kids left yet? Or are they about my age and still at home?

I'm wondering, because I'm 25 now, and the older I get, the harder it is to live with my parents. I do love them, and get on with them better than most kids, I'm aware of it... But I keep getting this nagging thought that as long as I'm staying with them, I can't be a grown up, not really. It's quite normal: they have raised me from birth, and even if they know I'm a grown person, they still see me as the little girl I used to be (especially my dad, who keeps repeating me to lock the car when I leave it somewhere and to watch out when I'm out... I know dad, I did live on my own for 2 years and I'm still alive... ).

Thing is, as long as this situation goes on, I feel like I'm still my parents' little girl, and this is smothering me. It's ok during the week, because I usually don't go home straight from work, so I don't get to spend that much time with them... but at the end of the week-end, I need to lock myself in my bedroom and be on my own, because I feel so smothered by them being around all the time.
And of course, because I love them and they are so great parents, I feel guilty when I feel that.
(plus I feel this situation might be the reason why I can't get into a relationship... I still see myself as a kid, so why would a guy see me as a woman?).

End of rant... sorry about that, I guess I just needed to get it out of my system, and you ladies are often of good advice. Maybe I should stop complaining and be happy with what I've got, for a change... (as my mum keeps telling me).

I can't really afford it, yes... I think the idea of helping me funding a place is starting to grow on my mum, but my sister goes to a private school and the fees are so expensive, she couldn't afford both. It'll be less expensive next year, as my sister will temp at the school's administration on lunch breaks to reduce the cost... if I find a well enough paid internship in February next year, my mum says we might be able to look into renting something for me.
In the meantime, I might go and stay at my godfather's, whose sons have all left the house. He lives 20 minutes away from Uni, so that would make life easier. And they might let me stay in the flat in August when they go on holiday.
Well, that's the plan anyway. Let's hope it all works out.

At least, when I finally get my own place, I know I'll really enjoy it!!

Thanks fpr sharing your experience with me, ladies.

I think what's really weighing me down at the moment is that my sister's boyfriend is staying with us. He's leaving tomorrow I think, but he's coming back in a couple of weeks, and he's staying for the whole summer, and beyond that until he and my sister get a place together. So he needs to get a job before, and that won't be happening soon.
He's nice and everything but... we can't be ourselves when he's here, it does get crowded with the 6 of us in a big house... and he's her boyfriend, not mine, and I resent being imposed having to live with him. Selfish, I know, but I can't help it. Not to mention that I have a hard time dealing with the fact that I'm single at the moment, and I feel like it's being rubbed in my face. This said, my mum finds it hard too to have him - she feels she can't be herself in her own home.

I did have a look at rooms to rent tonight... I couldn't afford it on my own, but I'll try and talk about it with my mum again - when my sister's boyfriend is gone. Good news is, my sister got the confirmation today, she will do the admin work at her school, and this will save my parents half the fees. My problem is that my course takes up a lot of time and I can't commit to paying a rent as I virtually can't have a job half the time of the year. Fortunately, my Uni fees are next to nothing, so I don't have to worry about that too!

Doulla: You are an interesting, sparkling, funny and clever woman!!! Well, that's the feeling I get from knowing you - and I did meet you in real life, so it's not just an Internet persona! I think I can understand what you mean when you say that when you have a family, you kind of lose yourself. But you seem to have found a way to 'escape' that (I don't mean it in a bad way) when you share all your interests with us. Especially now that the girls are getting older, you'll find more space to yourself.

Nik: your aunt is dead on, I'll always be a child in my parents' mind! And I don't think it's their fault at all, it's me growing up and needing space. (and by the way, I love your name, Hanne!)
It is very French to stay at your parents' for quite a while, especially in Paris where it's easy to find a Uni near where you live and where renting a flat is very expensive. There's even been a film about it, called Tanguy - it's the story of a 30 year old who doesn't want to move out because he's having it so easy at his parents' - and his parents are trying everything to have him move out!
I think my godfather and his wife will be thrilled to have me, they've had it quite rough with their three teenage boys, and they'll love having a girl

Thanks for letting me share this with you - it is helpful just to have somewhere to say it all.